Confession...
For those who don't care to read the more emotional stuff, just skip to the pictures.
I just confessed this to Zeb a couple of weeks ago, but today was a sort of break through for me, as a mom of two. After Isaac was born, we had several wonderful weeks of being home and just being mommy and son and daddy and bonds were quickly formed and attachment was very strong. We had what is affectionately known as a "babymoon" for more than a month.
After Esther Rose was born, however, things weren't the same. I was whisked away to the hospital after only holding Esther Rose for a very few minutes still in the tub and nursing her once in a 3 hour period, and then thrown into the thick of life with Isaac...the medical stuff, the school things, and everything else that goes with having a 3 year old at home. I didn't get my "babymoon" with Esther Rose, and didn't feel like I had formed that bond with her that I had/have with Isaac. I love her deeply and would rearrange the stars in the sky if it would make her happy, but I didn't have that giddy "I'm a new mommy" feeling that I had with Isaac. I almost felt like she was just another kid to be carried around from place to place and another mouth to feed, and knew I was missing something. I even found myself disappointed to not have had another son, not that I had any control over that one, but it still bummed me out that I was wrong in my gut feeling. Which caused me to second guess my instincts in being her mommy.
Well, today it happened. I finally got that "I'm a mommy to a beautiful baby girl" excitement that I had been yearning to have. Want to know what solidified it for me? A ponytail...That's right. I fixed her hair. Nevermind the pretty dresses and cute socks...The girl has enough hair to play with! As I tied her hair up today, I got a feeling deep in my gut that said, "YAY for baby girls!! I love being your mommy, and we're going to have a great time together". God answered my heart's deepest cry over a ponytail...Who'd of thunk it?
So, without further ado, I present my Princess sporting her new "hair do"...Isn't she pretty?
